We moved
into our new Taipei apartment a little more than one week ago and it is a huge
upgrade from the previous one. I told my
wife that on a scale of 1 to 100, the old apartment was a 6 and the new
apartment was an 80. Actually I should
have said 2 and 95, but I didn’t want her to think even worse of the slum
apartment we lived in and I needed to leave some room on the upper end of the
scale hoping there are even better apartments in Taipei.
Within one
week I have already got into trouble.
We hosted a dinner party last night and I made my famous barbeque baby
back ribs. They were not so famous in
the U.S., but they seem to be appreciated here in Taiwan. I could not find premade BBQ sauce in Taiwan,
so as I have become accustom, necessity forced me to make my own sauce. It is delicious and I will never again use
premade sauces. I tone the spiciness
down a little for the Taiwanese tongue.
After applying a dry rub, and cooking at low temperature in the oven for
hours, I move the ribs to the grill for the finishing touches and application
of the sauce. So how does that get me in
trouble?
We moved the
grill to the balcony of our new apartment, and after removing one shelf, I made
it fit. The propane tank was “smuggled” on
the bus by my wife, as she took transportation from her employer to
Taipei. She treated the tank as if it
were a bomb, hiding it in bags and a box.
She called me from the bus telling me to meet her at a prearranged
location to accept delivery of the “package”.
We got the tank safely to the apartment and installed it on the
grill. The propane tanks in Taiwan are
about half the size of the tanks in the U.S.
So how did I get in trouble?
We had some
doubts whether a grill would be allowed at the apartment; however we never
asked and hadn’t read anything prohibiting them. The managed ignorance allowed me to cook at
least one meal of ribs for the party.
Shortly after the cooking was finished, an elderly neighbor lady rang
our doorbell and was accompanied by two apartment building officials armed with
radios. They may have had Taser guns,
but I couldn’t see them. When we
answered the door, the lady marched into our apartment to tell us she was
worried the building was on fire. She
asked me if I spoke Zhongwen and I responded buxing, Ingwen. While each of us knew we didn’t understand
each other, we continued talking and I invited her to have some ribs. My theory was that if she tasted them, her
complaint would seem insignificant.
Also, if a burning apartment building smells like barbeque ribs, then
let’s burn it down now. I’m not sure
what will happen next, but I’m guessing a list of rules will be modified
prohibiting grills. The grilling season in Taiwan is September and grilling any
other month seems crazy to the Taiwanese.
I’m not kidding.
I have an
American friend living in Taichung. When
visiting his apartment, he showed me his grill hidden in an enclosed balcony
with a high powered exhaust fan. I
thought it was overkill, but I now understand his motives to protect his grill
from Taiwanese grill month rules and dynamic apartment policies. I have posted a photo of our grill and a view
from the balcony.
p.s. I have
joked about the Asian love of Hello Kitty.
One of my beloved Asian airlines now has decorated their jets with Hello
Kitty and requires their pilots to wear Hello Kitty uniforms. Actually the pilot comment isn’t true, but I
am conflicted by the whole thing.
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