My Fiancée

My Fiancée is a unique woman that I met through an online dating service.  I have known 5 couples that are happily married after meeting online, so I had a high level of confidence it would work.  My Fiancée was skeptical, since she is mainland Chinese living in Taiwan, and it is rarely used there.

She is a highly intelligent woman that has a passion for many of the same things as me: travel, good literature, the arts, reading about and discussing world events, food, family and friends.  Did I mention travel?  She is the first woman I have dated that is better traveled than me.  She is a very good mother to two teenage daughters that are both well adjusted, normal, educated girls. 

My Fiancée is very attractive.  I am attracted to dark hair, dark eyed, thin women and have always been partial to Asians. She has a good sense of humor and we can make each other laugh easily.   We talk every day, often twice for a long time.  Rarely do we run out of topics to talk about.  Despite the distance, we have spent a great deal of time together this year in Taiwan, Switzerland, Italy, Canada and the U.S.

She is a very successful scientist working in a specific subset of cell biology.  Her research is used in medical and pharmaceutical applications.  She received her PhD and conducted most of her post-doctoral work at the best universities in the U.S.  As an academic, she prefers research over teaching, and runs an impressive lab at one of the large health research institutes in Taiwan.

I have fallen in love with this woman.

So what do I bring to the relationship?   I hope there is a fair amount; however I believe I bring a calming influence to her life.  She is highly achievement oriented and this causes her to become stressed easily.  She wants to publish papers with greater impact and be published in the highest level journals, have more discoveries and she wants her daughters to be top of their class academically.   She wants to be a tiger mom, but then feels guilty about the balance of time prioritization between her research, helping her daughters study, exercise and relaxation.   I think she can have it all, but she needs my help to see that.

My past employer conducted emotional intelligence testing through a psychologist and I ranked very high for stress tolerance.  The psychologist said my score was as high as he had seen and this was a good attribute for a business leader.  I was initially skeptical of this test when I saw my social responsibility score was slightly below average.  I recycle, give charitable contributions to social causes and have somewhat liberal political views.  But after I thought about it more, I am the man that is trying to eat as much of the delicious and overfished Chilean Sea Bass as I can, before it goes extinct.  So I do believe in the test scores and know that my stress management skills will be a highly positive attribute for our marriage.

I am confident that I am right for her and absolutely know that she is right for me.

The Grouse Hunt Post Mortem

The grouse hunt went largely as expected with two exceptions.  The weather was nice until a little rain on Sunday morning, which makes packing up camp a little sloppy.  Thursday night the temperature reached the low-20s, which is perfect sleeping weather if you have a good sleeping bag.  The food we cooked was great and the bonding amongst friends and family was very memorable. 

12 people were expected to participate this year and a 13^th joined us for the day.  One of our friends that participated in past years unexpectedly joined us for the day on Friday.  He had some heart stents installed two days earlier and had two more planned for early this week, limiting how much time he could spend.  It was enjoyable talking to him about travels past and future, his children and extended family from foreign exchange programs.  I last saw him two years ago at O’Hare airport; he was leaving with his wife for Brazil and I was heading to Las Vegas.  I explained my plan to move to Taiwan and he recently hosted two foreign exchange students from Taipei.  Hopefully I will see him in Taiwan soon.

My Fiancée was concerned that I would be eaten by a bear.  She asked that I pitch my tent in the center of the others, so the bear would eat someone else first and allow me to escape. I assured her that my plan to avoid becoming bear food was better than hers; I would smother everyone else’s tent with food.  Her unreasonable fear of bears came from watching a TV show where a Russian woman was being eaten by several bears, but still had the presence of mind to call her Mother and describe what was happening.  I actually have a bear story from a grouse hunt many years ago, but it is not important now.

Bears don’t represent too much of a danger and actually the hunt and camping can be fairly safe.  However we did have a near tragedy occur Saturday night.  One of the younger members of our group fell off the 50-60 foot cliff into the river below.  Along the way, it appears he hit a tree, causing a lacerated liver.  He was found face down in the river.  The group acted quickly and with appropriate measures, given we didn’t know the extent of his injuries.  One of the younger members is an EMT for a fire department and ambulance service.  A cot was used to bring him back up the cliff in the dark and then he was taken to the local hospital.  They were unable to treat him and moved him to a larger hospital one hour away.  He remained hospitalized for two nights and released in relatively good shape.

He was incredibly lucky to have the limited injuries, given the steep fall. Before the accident, I spent time with him talking about authors, books we have read, philosophy, winemaking and many other subjects.  I am always amazed at his intellect, kindness and liberal view of life.  I am incredibly thankful that he will be okay and look forward to talking with him again to bring closure to some unfinished discussions and open some new ones.

The Grouse Hunt

Tomorrow I will travel to the north woods for the annual grouse hunt with my friends.  Often when I tell someone that I am going on a grouse hunt, I receive a humorous look and response that suggests the grouse hunt is viewed similarly to the snipe hunt.  Other than both the Common Snipe and Ruffed Grouse are real birds, there is no similarity. 

The Ruffed Grouse is a tasty small game bird that can be either plentiful in numbers or scarce, depending on the approximate ten year cycle that causes their population to fluctuate.  Regardless of the population, they are difficult to hunt due to their flight pattern and thick habitat they reside in.   The grouse hunt is actually 10% hunting and 90% male bonding.

Our hunt began in the mid-1970s with a core group of friends from grade school and high school.   Many people have dropped in and out over the past 35+ years, but the core group remains intact.  Our group now includes our adult children and for one year, included some daughters. 

The hunt happens every year in late October and involves camping in some of the most pristine forest in the north.  Our general proximity hasn’t changed, and we have stayed at the current location for over 20 years.  This spot sits 50 feet above a small waterfall and rapids, on a picturesque river that is featured in a regional beer commercial.  To access this spot, you must drive your truck off the paved road for more than two miles.  We have many stories about stuck four wheel drive vehicles.

The hunt lasts four days and includes a routine of cooking, beer drinking, listening to football games and repeating the same stories over and over, while sitting around a bonfire until 3:00 a.m.  It never gets old.  In 35 years, I have missed the grouse hunt only twice.  My youngest son, and his best friend who is like a son to me, will be there.

When the hunt first began, food was not important to the group.  Peanut butter sandwiches were normal fare.  A number of years ago, I cooked a whole pig, which the group enjoyed.  I don’t want to suggest that this was a turning point, but great food has been cooked and served since.  Two years ago, my son prepared a chef inspired meal, under the light of gas lamps in a cooking tent.  People sat in chairs around the tent watching him cook.  It reminded me of the Iron Chef Kitchen Stadium on TV, except located in the forest.

Since I will be moving to Taiwan to join my Fiancée, I have suggested this may be my last grouse hunt.  She does not like to hear about “last” anything, but I think that is reality.  I will savor this last hunt with my friends and family, but I am looking forward to joining my Fiancée soon.  I have always said that I want to live my life without any regrets, and so far I can truthfully say that.  I won’t regret ending my grouse hunts, and I will tell the many stories from these hunts, for the rest of my life.

My First Day of Retirement

Today is the first day of my retirement.  I decided to retire in April 2011 and almost six months later, it came true.  I am only 54 years old, so retirement is typically something a person in my position wouldn't consider.  I have worked full time for 37 years, without even a one week break.  I have worked for 28 years at my last employer, and decided to retire from my executive position.  Financial planners would look at my situation and tell me to work another 8 years.  So why retire now?

The reasons for retirement are many and I won't discuss all of them.  Essentially I have come to appreciate that life can be short and I need to enjoy every moment of my life, as if I won't be able to much longer.  Don't misunderstand, I fully expect to live a long and healthy life, however I have chosen to live with a sense of immediacy and urgency.  My late wife of 28 years died three years ago, following a courageous three year battle with cancer.  Watching her fight to witness one more event, cherish another travel adventure and live one more day enjoying nature in our backyard, made me realize that a healthy person should live the same way.  I could not wait eight more years to retire.

Since my late wife passed away, I have traveled often.  I traveled often before she died, however the frequency of travel increased tremendously.  In the last two years, I traveled to the Dominican Republic, Germany, England, Dublin, Rome, Montreal and many other locations within the U.S. and abroad, by myself.  I don't mind traveling by myself, in fact there are advantages, however I prefer traveling with people close to me.

I have traveled to Costa Rica with good friends, to Australia to visit another close friend, to Tuscany to stay in a beautiful home in the mountains with more good friends, etc.  I have also enjoyed trips to California, Mexico, D.C., Texas, Nevada, Florida and many other locations in North America to see my family and friends.

Since I met my Fiancee, we have traveled in Asia, Switzerland, Italy, Canada and within the U.S.  Our travel destination list is extensive and we have barely begun.  It is difficult to maintain a busy executive career while attempting to increase an already extensive travel schedule.  I had no alternative but to retire.

After deciding to retire, my girlfriend and I became engaged.  She lives in Taiwan, while I live in the upper midwest of the U.S.  I will describe her more in the future.  The distance is incredible to many, but so close to us.  We both travel often and well, and have seen each other extensively since we first met.  The decision to retire, followed by the decision to remarry, has created the theme of this blog, My Second Life.

The purpose of this blog is to inform my family and friends of my rationale for what I do and keep them abreast of where I am, and what I have done.  I am planning to move to Taiwan to be with my Fiancee full time, very shortly.

I hope you check back occasionally to see what I am up to.

Winemakertjb